Stepmom Says I Look Good

My stepmom and I have never really hit it off for as long as I remember.
Last night she came to a family gathering for my brother who had come from England to South Africa to see his new born grandchild.
I was standing in just my shorts, on the porch of the guest house with a large Savanna in hand, when my sister and my stepmom arrived.
They came ambling up the stairs greeting everyone as they went.
Well I politely greeted her with a light peck on the cheek. Then I noticed she did not move on inside with my sister as would be the norm. Instead she stood there looking at me worth a glint in her eye.
"You look very well" she said smiling. Being so full of myself I retorted "Yes I do" and she continued to look strangely at me. I was starting to feel a bit uncomfortable when she suddenly turned to go on inside.
Later I mentioned to my sister that the stepmom was giving me the once over and possibly trying to chat me up.
Well she burst out laughing saying how vain I was because the fact was that my stepmom was going blind.

Nut Screws & Bolts

Nut Screws & Bolts.
I was told a story today about an incident that happened many years ago at an insane asylum.
One of the patients at the establishment managed to get out of his padded cell. 
He continued to overpower one of the nurses and raped her.
He then proceeded to walk out the front door and escaped.
The Headlines for the Newspapers the following day was. .. Nut Screws & Bolts.

Security? What's That?

A woman is designed by nature to develop a family.
Her entire intention is to find a mate that will be able to provide for her children. It is not necessary for him to be around as long as he brings in the bacon.
She will set up home and take care of the children, as long as the finances are available. Quite frankly, he is in the way of her running a household MOST OF THE TIME.
She does not need him, she just needs his money. She will encourage him to get out of the house to go to work or play. She will make sure that he's clothes are ready,  his food is made, and do all the things a domestic would do.
Having Sex for her, was just to get the children. Once she has enough children the Sex stops. The so called mutual interest is no longer mutual.
It is for this reason that most woman don't really mind a man having a bit on the side. As long as it does not interfere with her security or threaten the lifestyle she had set up for her children.
If you have a woman that you love with all your heart, then you need to take this into consideration before you agree to have children.
Once they are there, you become obsolete to her. If she is still having Sex with you it is because she is still insecure.

Methamphetamine (Tik) and the Woman

Methamphetamine (Tik) has become such a problem that the people have had enough.
They no longer want to help the individuals that they use to.

Going out of my way to help these strange people I discovered that they do not want help. All the talk of giving up and getting their lives in order is just a con.
The whole time that you are talking to them they are caniving to see what they can get out of you so that they can get another fix.
By the time they leave your house you have become exhausted from watching that they don't steal anything. That is if they haven't already.

I know one strange alien that wants her children back so badly but cannot kick the habit. She admits that she has a problem but it has its hooks so deep into her that she can't get out.

It would take her leaving the father of her children, who she thinks she loves dearly. If both parties in a relationship are on a drug it becomes a total mind warp. One of them tries to stop and the other is not ready to change yet. Then the other tries and so on.

Tik has more of an addictive nature than most drugs and if they stay together the cycle will start all over again. She would have to leave him. There is no other way. If she wants her children back, she would have to sacrifice her so called happiness.

She would need to get a stable job where she could meet new drug free friends and start a whole new social circle.

In fact she would need a complete makeover. Tik tends to make these aliens shrink. They seem to age very quickly as the face becomes drawn.

The strangest thing is that these "Tikkops" are unaware that we can see that they are raving. They chew constantly and there is nothing in the mouth. Their conversation is all onesided, all about them, their problems, and are always someone else's fault. The world has kicked them in the teeth.

For those of you who are stupid enough to even try Methamphetamine, or to think of trying it:-
1. They steal out of their own houses to sell and buy drugs.
2. They even sell their cars to get this drug.
3. Sex. This drug makes them act like rabbits so selling their bodies would be a plus.

2 Woman and a Mountain Pass

Just a quick trip she told me. Just across the mountain, and over to the shops. Your sister needs to go and see her  customers.
Well, they left at 6 o'clock in the morning. 

11 o'clock I received a message that they was stuck on the mountain in a 4x4 bakkie.

Now far be it from me, to be critical but isn't that what you would expect from 2 woman who go over mountains alone.
 
It is not the worry that bothers me  it is that I may now have to go over the mountain to fetch them. Not what I had planned for the day.

What if I had decided to go and get totally drunk on this day of opportunities or is this the intention of the message. To simply ruin any plans that I could conjure.???

You have to think carefully about the fact that she could be manipulating you even when she is not there.

Shouting on the Rooftop

It was 4 am and the little dog was yapping, yapping and yapping. By this time she had had enough. She climbed all the way up to the rooftop. When she got there, she proceeded to address the direction of the commotion. It went something like this...

"If you don't shut that fucking dog up, I will personally come over there and shut it up for you. Permanently."

And then there was silence.

Later she joked about removing all the dogs innards and staking it to the front door.  But I wonder. Many a true word is spoken in jest.

Xmas - No Problem

With all this excitement over the festive period, I am happy to announce that I feel completely rested. Being a pucker male I have allowed the aliens the right to go ahead and take charge in this family orientated quest that comes once a year, making complete fools of themselves.
"Look what I did, and all that."
By allowing them the reigns to carry on at will I managed to get completely drunk and rehabilitated in a matter of days without the usual complaints.
Never before have I seen so many destroyed men, moping about because they had all the running around to do, the cleaning up and carting away.
Have you guys not been listening to what I am trying to teach you. You can only win by letting them win. Give them the go ahead and watch them fly...completely out of your way.
So dry up your tears my fellow men and grow a pair. You have created your own monsters and it is only you who can slay them. Dust yourselves off and start again. A woman wants a MAN. It only appears that they are concerned when you sit with your beer in front of the TV and burp and fart. However they prefer to have you where they can find you at short notice in case.
An alien will only live for you...if you are are worth living for.