Tuesday, November 20, 2012
China's Ring! My Hat!
How appropriate.
China's Ring? Trust the Chinese aliens to convince the men to build a portal. This will allow the even more obnoxious aliens to come and finish the men off. What were the men thinking? Are you men so lame that you don't know that you are being led around by the nose.
I bet some China-man thinks this was his idea.
I presume that the aliens have discovered how to produce sperm now. They don't need the men anymore. I have warned you, that once they know how to reproduce without us, there will be no more need for us men.
It is time to hone your survival skills with only a month to go.
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Saturday, April 28, 2012
Rubber or Grubber
I was sitting at the end of a bar, having a quiet drink. There are friends sitting to my left, but on their own vibe.
This young alien comes and plonks herself on the last chair and spreads her legs and starts to grind herself with a soft moaning.
I look over at her and say,"your birthday is going very well."
She starts peaking and grabs for my hand. I calmly take the hand of a friend next to me and pass it on to her behind my back.
The moaning increases and as she climaxes she notices that I have both my hands in front of me. In a soft voice she says "I never knew you had three hands..."and a faint giggle.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Tell her
If something is bothering you, and you keep it bottled up, you are going to regret it. You have to get it of your chest.
Tell her what the problem is, even if you have to rant and rave to get your point across. But tell her.
She will now move around you for a while, until she can concede that you are right, in her own time. After which she will change into this fake nice person, to prove that she is not like that.
Believe me, this only lasts for a while. So take advantage of this time to mention some of the smaller things that are bothering you.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Dating Drunken Woman
These creatures are not up to the drinking capacity that we men can handle. So if you are drinking it up to gain the courage, then rather go to the bar to order your drinks and have a shooter by yourself. Then when you feel that you are now confident enough to make your move, she will be at the same level although she is way behind you on drinks.
You want to keep her in the happy drunk frame of mind and dare not go any father because once she enters the aggressive mode you are wasting your time.
The aliens also want to get laid and probably just as much as we do, but we need to know that it is not the booze that gets them there. It is the frame of mind that we put them in.
All the wining and dining is a ritual that is merely a guide to how to get a woman in the mood. It still is up to you to get her into a conversation that she enjoys talking about, steering her subjects with gentle, yet persuasive prompts. This done by finding out what she likes, her hobbies, her passions etc and asking questions about them with keen interest.
EG. Say something like,"I find that it is important to know what our passions are. Then we need to k now how to make money from them. This way we will enjoy going to work everyday, because we are doing the things that we are passionate about." and then ask her what she is passionate about and then help her think of ways to make money from this. More on this later.
Back to the subject of the drunken tart.
Drag it home,rip it's clothes off, throw it on the bed and bang it to your hearts content. Then roll over and go to sleep like most men do anyway and in the morning pretend (if necessary) that you don't remember a damn thing.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Mornings: The Getting Up Misery
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Where Were You?
Thoughts of the days events began racing through my mind. I stood up and ambled over to the washbasin to wash my face and clear my head. I looked up into the mirror and smiled silently to myself. What a fast paced day I was in for.
I washed up and then sat down to a strong cup of coffee, briefly going over some paperwork. As soon as I had my plan for the day, the rush set in.
I jumped in a shower and quickly got dressed. Then I headed for the door still smiling. As I reached my car a thought struck home. You know when you get that feeling that you have forgotten something? I hesitated for a moment, then brushed the idea aside and climbed into my car.
I was just about to turn the key when a sharp knock on my window got my attention. Here in the broad daylight was the most stunning babe in her nightgown and boy did she look pissed.
I rolled down my window and started to explain that I knew I had forgotten something, when I felt a sharp crack against my cheek.
"Where the F..k were you last night?"
Monday, October 24, 2011
Getting Married?
Marriage is the first step to divorce,but if you are NOT married you never have to use the word.Living together has major advantages: You can do whatever you want. You are not married.You never have a major fallout because you never get divorced.
That term "DIVORCE" has such an impact that there is no turning back the clock wishing you had never opened your mouth. Strike it from your vocabulary unless you are absolutely sure that there is no possible way that you intend staying with your spouse.
Once you have used the word or have heard it for the first time,consult your attorney immediately.The "Biatch"has kicked in.No matter what she says,does or pretends. Believe me!!! You can go forward for years from that moment but it will always be in the back of her head.She will love you to death to get your assets up.Buying her jewelry to apologize works,I wonder why?
Whatever you spend on her,make sure you spend on yourself!!!
