Xmas - No Problem

With all this excitement over the festive period, I am happy to announce that I feel completely rested. Being a pucker male I have allowed the aliens the right to go ahead and take charge in this family orientated quest that comes once a year, making complete fools of themselves.
"Look what I did, and all that."
By allowing them the reigns to carry on at will I managed to get completely drunk and rehabilitated in a matter of days without the usual complaints.
Never before have I seen so many destroyed men, moping about because they had all the running around to do, the cleaning up and carting away.
Have you guys not been listening to what I am trying to teach you. You can only win by letting them win. Give them the go ahead and watch them fly...completely out of your way.
So dry up your tears my fellow men and grow a pair. You have created your own monsters and it is only you who can slay them. Dust yourselves off and start again. A woman wants a MAN. It only appears that they are concerned when you sit with your beer in front of the TV and burp and fart. However they prefer to have you where they can find you at short notice in case.
An alien will only live for you...if you are are worth living for.

Sweet 16 to Sweet 116 Secrets

I mean really, sweet 16 to sweet 116. Wow!

The secrets that have been mentioned are that:
1. She minds her own business. Clever woman.
2. Eat lots of fruit and vegetables, and NO junk food.
3. Maintain a great sense of humor.
4. Do Crosswords or use  other brain stimulation.

Now don't say I didn't warn you. These aliens have the strangest powers.

You see them changing to all these new alternative methods and healthy foods, like nuts, salads and veg. They lay the table with an array of rabbit food. They go to great lengths to make it all look so pretty and inviting. Yet, we maintain that we need our meat and to get our fat on.
After all, we need to oil our joints and wash it down with a good pint,
don't we?
They taunt you with "You must watch your heart" and "That's not good for your liver" etc. One would think they were our mothers the way they carry on.
However,with this old dame, Bess Cooper, living to a ripe old age of 116 years, maybe it is time to re-think our manly reasoning. What if they are right? Wouldn't you want to live a little longer? Perhaps healthier? of course you would.

Now I am not saying that we need to stop eating meat. What I am saying is that we need to cut down on our intake. Instead of 2 chops have one. Fill your plate with vegetables and salads and then garish with little bits of meat.

When you think about this, you have to consider that you might have to put up with her crap a lot longer than you could ever have imagined. You might as well be healthier and , yes...more fit so as to be able to take up the challenge. What is the point of being lethargic all day. Diving for the Berrocca for energy.

I say, we need to secretly agree with these aliens. At least when it comes to food, alternative medications and perhaps lifestyle. Choke!

Have a look at how to slow the aging process. Click Here Now. Don't wait till it is too late

Getting Married?

If you are thinking of getting married,I suggest that you find some "Biatch" alien you don't like and go ahead and buy her a house,give her your car,sign over most of your income etc. Soon enough you will be in that same boat anyway.
Marriage is the first step to divorce,but if you are NOT married you never have to use the word.Living together has major advantages: You can do whatever you want. You are not married.You never have a major fallout because you never get divorced.
That term "DIVORCE" has such an impact that there is no turning back the clock wishing you had never opened your mouth. Strike it from your vocabulary unless you are absolutely sure that there is no possible way that you intend staying with your spouse.
Once you have used the word or have heard it for the first time,consult your attorney immediately.The "Biatch"has kicked in.No matter what she says,does or pretends. Believe me!!! You can go forward for years from that moment but it will always be in the back of her head.She will love you to death to get your assets up.Buying her jewelry to apologize works,I wonder why?
Whatever you spend on her,make sure you spend on yourself!!!