With all this excitement over the festive period, I am happy to announce that I feel completely rested. Being a pucker male I have allowed the aliens the right to go ahead and take charge in this family orientated quest that comes once a year, making complete fools of themselves.
"Look what I did, and all that."
By allowing them the reigns to carry on at will I managed to get completely drunk and rehabilitated in a matter of days without the usual complaints.
Never before have I seen so many destroyed men, moping about because they had all the running around to do, the cleaning up and carting away.
Have you guys not been listening to what I am trying to teach you. You can only win by letting them win. Give them the go ahead and watch them fly...completely out of your way.
So dry up your tears my fellow men and grow a pair. You have created your own monsters and it is only you who can slay them. Dust yourselves off and start again. A woman wants a MAN. It only appears that they are concerned when you sit with your beer in front of the TV and burp and fart. However they prefer to have you where they can find you at short notice in case.
An alien will only live for you...if you are are worth living for.
Showing posts with label Going Out. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Going Out. Show all posts
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Where Were You?
I woke up this morning and slid out of bed, my feet hitting the cold parquet flooring. I decided to give the blood a chance to reach my feet before standing up.
Thoughts of the days events began racing through my mind. I stood up and ambled over to the washbasin to wash my face and clear my head. I looked up into the mirror and smiled silently to myself. What a fast paced day I was in for.
I washed up and then sat down to a strong cup of coffee, briefly going over some paperwork. As soon as I had my plan for the day, the rush set in.
I jumped in a shower and quickly got dressed. Then I headed for the door still smiling. As I reached my car a thought struck home. You know when you get that feeling that you have forgotten something? I hesitated for a moment, then brushed the idea aside and climbed into my car.
I was just about to turn the key when a sharp knock on my window got my attention. Here in the broad daylight was the most stunning babe in her nightgown and boy did she look pissed.
I rolled down my window and started to explain that I knew I had forgotten something, when I felt a sharp crack against my cheek.
"Where the F..k were you last night?"
Thoughts of the days events began racing through my mind. I stood up and ambled over to the washbasin to wash my face and clear my head. I looked up into the mirror and smiled silently to myself. What a fast paced day I was in for.
I washed up and then sat down to a strong cup of coffee, briefly going over some paperwork. As soon as I had my plan for the day, the rush set in.
I jumped in a shower and quickly got dressed. Then I headed for the door still smiling. As I reached my car a thought struck home. You know when you get that feeling that you have forgotten something? I hesitated for a moment, then brushed the idea aside and climbed into my car.
I was just about to turn the key when a sharp knock on my window got my attention. Here in the broad daylight was the most stunning babe in her nightgown and boy did she look pissed.
I rolled down my window and started to explain that I knew I had forgotten something, when I felt a sharp crack against my cheek.
"Where the F..k were you last night?"
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