Saturday, August 3, 2013

Methamphetamine (Tik) and the Woman

Methamphetamine (Tik) has become such a problem that the people have had enough.
They no longer want to help the individuals that they use to.

Going out of my way to help these strange people I discovered that they do not want help. All the talk of giving up and getting their lives in order is just a con.
The whole time that you are talking to them they are caniving to see what they can get out of you so that they can get another fix.
By the time they leave your house you have become exhausted from watching that they don't steal anything. That is if they haven't already.

I know one strange alien that wants her children back so badly but cannot kick the habit. She admits that she has a problem but it has its hooks so deep into her that she can't get out.

It would take her leaving the father of her children, who she thinks she loves dearly. If both parties in a relationship are on a drug it becomes a total mind warp. One of them tries to stop and the other is not ready to change yet. Then the other tries and so on.

Tik has more of an addictive nature than most drugs and if they stay together the cycle will start all over again. She would have to leave him. There is no other way. If she wants her children back, she would have to sacrifice her so called happiness.

She would need to get a stable job where she could meet new drug free friends and start a whole new social circle.

In fact she would need a complete makeover. Tik tends to make these aliens shrink. They seem to age very quickly as the face becomes drawn.

The strangest thing is that these "Tikkops" are unaware that we can see that they are raving. They chew constantly and there is nothing in the mouth. Their conversation is all onesided, all about them, their problems, and are always someone else's fault. The world has kicked them in the teeth.

For those of you who are stupid enough to even try Methamphetamine, or to think of trying it:-
1. They steal out of their own houses to sell and buy drugs.
2. They even sell their cars to get this drug.
3. Sex. This drug makes them act like rabbits so selling their bodies would be a plus.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

2 Woman and a Mountain Pass

Just a quick trip she told me. Just across the mountain, and over to the shops. Your sister needs to go and see her  customers.
Well, they left at 6 o'clock in the morning. 

11 o'clock I received a message that they was stuck on the mountain in a 4x4 bakkie.

Now far be it from me, to be critical but isn't that what you would expect from 2 woman who go over mountains alone.
 
It is not the worry that bothers me  it is that I may now have to go over the mountain to fetch them. Not what I had planned for the day.

What if I had decided to go and get totally drunk on this day of opportunities or is this the intention of the message. To simply ruin any plans that I could conjure.???

You have to think carefully about the fact that she could be manipulating you even when she is not there.

Shouting on the Rooftop

It was 4 am and the little dog was yapping, yapping and yapping. By this time she had had enough. She climbed all the way up to the rooftop. When she got there, she proceeded to address the direction of the commotion. It went something like this...

"If you don't shut that fucking dog up, I will personally come over there and shut it up for you. Permanently."

And then there was silence.

Later she joked about removing all the dogs innards and staking it to the front door.  But I wonder. Many a true word is spoken in jest.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Xmas - No Problem

With all this excitement over the festive period, I am happy to announce that I feel completely rested. Being a pucker male I have allowed the aliens the right to go ahead and take charge in this family orientated quest that comes once a year, making complete fools of themselves.
"Look what I did, and all that."
By allowing them the reigns to carry on at will I managed to get completely drunk and rehabilitated in a matter of days without the usual complaints.
Never before have I seen so many destroyed men, moping about because they had all the running around to do, the cleaning up and carting away.
Have you guys not been listening to what I am trying to teach you. You can only win by letting them win. Give them the go ahead and watch them fly...completely out of your way.
So dry up your tears my fellow men and grow a pair. You have created your own monsters and it is only you who can slay them. Dust yourselves off and start again. A woman wants a MAN. It only appears that they are concerned when you sit with your beer in front of the TV and burp and fart. However they prefer to have you where they can find you at short notice in case.
An alien will only live for you...if you are are worth living for.

Friday, December 7, 2012

Sweet 16 to Sweet 116 Secrets


I mean really, sweet 16 to sweet 116. Wow!

The secrets that have been mentioned are that:
1. She minds her own business. Clever woman.
2. Eat lots of fruit and vegetables, and NO junk food.
3. Maintain a great sense of humor.
4. Do Crosswords or use  other brain stimulation.

Now don't say I didn't warn you. These aliens have the strangest powers.

You see them changing to all these new alternative methods and healthy foods, like nuts, salads and veg. They lay the table with an array of rabbit food. They go to great lengths to make it all look so pretty and inviting. Yet, we maintain that we need our meat and to get our fat on.
After all, we need to oil our joints and wash it down with a good pint,
don't we?
They taunt you with "You must watch your heart" and "That's not good for your liver" etc. One would think they were our mothers the way they carry on.
However,with this old dame, Bess Cooper, living to a ripe old age of 116 years, maybe it is time to re-think our manly reasoning. What if they are right? Wouldn't you want to live a little longer? Perhaps healthier? of course you would.

Now I am not saying that we need to stop eating meat. What I am saying is that we need to cut down on our intake. Instead of 2 chops have one. Fill your plate with vegetables and salads and then garish with little bits of meat.

When you think about this, you have to consider that you might have to put up with her crap a lot longer than you could ever have imagined. You might as well be healthier and , yes...more fit so as to be able to take up the challenge. What is the point of being lethargic all day. Diving for the Berrocca for energy.

I say, we need to secretly agree with these aliens. At least when it comes to food, alternative medications and perhaps lifestyle. Choke!

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Tuesday, November 20, 2012

China's Ring! My Hat!

The portal would be in China as they have the most woman there. I mean 21-12-2012 is on our doorstep.

How appropriate.

China's Ring? Trust the Chinese aliens to convince the men to build a portal. This will allow the even more obnoxious aliens to come and finish the men off. What were the men thinking? Are you men so lame that you don't know that you are being led around by the nose.
I bet some China-man thinks this was his idea.
I presume that the aliens have discovered how to produce sperm now. They don't need the men anymore. I have warned you, that once they know how to reproduce without us, there will be no more need for us men.

It is time to hone your survival skills with only a month to go.
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Saturday, April 28, 2012

Rubber or Grubber

I was sitting at the end of a bar, having a quiet drink. There are friends sitting to my left, but on their own vibe.

This young alien comes and plonks herself on the last chair and spreads her legs and starts to grind herself with a soft moaning.

I look over at her and say,"your birthday is going very well."

She starts peaking and grabs for my hand. I calmly take the hand of a friend next to me and pass it on to her behind my back.

The moaning increases and as she climaxes she notices that I have both my hands in front of me. In a soft voice she says "I never knew you had three hands..."and a faint giggle.


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